Never say never.... things I swore my kids wouldn't do...

Five years. Today marks five whole, wild, funny, sad, happy crazy years of being a mom. While that is not substantial time in the eyes of some, I feel like it makes me pretty well seasoned. Three of those five years, I have been a mom to two sassy girls.

I was looking back on some journal entries from before I had my first daughter, and was reflecting on how different reality is from the fantasy world we dream up before we actually become a parent. Below is a list of just a few items "pre-mom" Amber said her child would never do, but that since having kids my mind has changed on.

1."My kid will never sleep with me": I did pretty good at first, but then ....well I got tired, and she went from the bassinet , to the bed and she stayed in the bed for almost two years. Go ahead gasp, judge me whatever, but honestly I loved those quiet sweet moments watching her sleep, smelling her fresh from the bath little baby skin, feeling her little body snuggle mine. Sometimes after a long hard day it would be just the reminder I needed that I was in fact not failing at this whole mom thing. To this day (while my back doesn't agree) I don't mind when little feet find their way down the hall and crawl into my bed, to spread their arms like falcons and claw their way under the covers via my flesh. As they lay across, behind, and on top of my husband and I while we freeze and ache...I still love watching my babies sleep. All too soon my bed won't be their safe place, so I will savor it while I can.

2. "My kid won't eat in the car": All the busy moms laugh together with me. I don't WANT them to eat in my car, but somedays they'd starve otherwise! First it was dry snacks only (cherrios etc) now, I will toss a string cheese and apple sauce pouch back and not even cringe when I hear the very specific "Mooooom" that means they dropped or spilt it. Sure, we spend a lot of time at the car wash...but so what! It washes out. Better to not have a hangry child (trust me!) Invest in the under carseat shields, and embrace the fact that should you ever be stranded or the zombie apocolypse comes with no time to prep you could survive off goldfish, cheerios, and half empty water bottles  for at least a few weeks!

3. "My kid won't throw a tantrum": hahahaha...*deep breathe* hahahaha.... "pre-mom" Amber was dumb and thought you get to control this kind of thing. I wish! I do not care how perfect a mom you are, how little sugar, or how gluten free your child is....yelling, no yelling....spanking, no spanking I do not care who you are....it will happen. Most likely, it will happen in public. You will be mortified, and you will not know if you do nothing and get judged, or spank and get judged... you will swear you will never leave the house again, and maybe for a while you will avoid it...but then you will. If you have a "free spirited" one like my youngest you will become immune to the judgment, and you will discipline and dare anyone to say anything.

4."My kid won't use that oil stuff": I always associated the essential oils with "granola/crunchy" moms. Modern medicine is such a gift, why would I risk not using it I would say. It took one year before I realized just how beneficial oils could be. My oldest could not have simple medications like antihistamines etc. and after being diagnosed with asthma, I was desperate. The steroids were making her a different child. I tried Young Living oils as a last resort and BAM I was hooked. suddenly, anti-oiler mom here was making her own wipes, creams, and household cleaners. I love them and we use them more and more each day. We still use modern medicine when needed (my husband works in an ER we know the benefits, and that sometimes you need it.) I realized as a mom we all want the best for our kids, and sometimes that means stepping out of our comfort zones.

5. "My kid will never have formula": Now put down the pitchforks! I am not advocating for formula, nor am I saying breast is best. I didn't ever consider the thought that I would not get a choice. Unfortunately, my body couldn't work its magic and produce the milk needed to sustain my child. I felt so guilty, and embarassed when I bought formula, or pulled out a bottle. I always felt like I needed to explain myself. It took alot of time, and some awesome women to remind me that a well fed child is what is best. It is not our job to judge other mom's method of feeding it is not a competition, you get no special badge or golden nipple shield for doing one or the other.

Last, but not least, "I will never be THAT mom": This is applicable to many scenarios, and until I was "that mom" a time or two I didn't realize that most of us moms, are simply doing the best we can. She probably didn't want to be "that" mom either at the time, but life happens. We are hard enough on our selves, we do not need any outside help. Momming aint easy, so why make it harder by judging a walk we haven't walked.

 So next time you see a mom giving her kid the tablet so she can have some quiet time in the store, or a mom promising ice cream if the kids will please just be good, or the mom dragging a kicking screaming child out of wal mart remember that could be you one day very soon! Never say never, and remember that sometimes a "I feel ya sister hang in there" goes a long way!